mercuryblacksleg:

quantummindclassicalheart:

mercuryblacksleg:

Dr Seuss: ‘Maybe Christmas,’ he thought, ‘doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas … perhaps … means a little bit more!’

Illumination:

image

Then they got an idea! An awful idea!

THE BRANDS GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
All the marketers thought, “Why should tickets suffice?
With the Grinch selling knick-knacks, why, we’ll be paid twice!”

Forget all the morals! There’s cash to be made.
From frosting to forklifts to Grinch Gatorade!
Just slap his face on there and tint it with green
And prepare for profits, yes, profits obscene!

From a seasonal, festival holiday grump,
The Grinch had been played for a capital chump.
“No more! Won’t you forget these trinkets?” he pleads.
“Christmas isn’t junk! It’s your bonds and your deeds.”

For a moment, they paused. Was there more to this day
Than products and placements and big bonus pay?
The PR men sniffed and they shrugged and they sighed.
Then they threw him some cash and they went back inside.

You win best addition to my post

katy-l-wood:

chequerootlurks:

ailithnight:

dreaming-shark:

hotcommunist:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

im-the-batmann:

shadows-ember:

reperspectivity:

michuno:

amberhamster:

fgfdgfgfgfh

Source?

@michuno 

I believe this is from Ghost Stories. The series didn’t do too well in Japan, so when it was translated and dubbed in English, the VA studio was given a rough outline of the plot and were told to do ‘whatever’. 

They ran with that.

She’s both…she’s a ghost AND a bitch.

Reblog if you’re a ghost AND a bitch

adamtots:

jakoski:

adamtots:

I can’t believe they removed Tumblr from the app store because you were all mean to me

This is obviously sarcasm, but the fact that you’d even make this joke considering the massive amounts of blogs being deleted because of this incident shows how massively overinflated your ego is.

they had to be deleted to make more room for my ego